That Ancient Picture of HIM

That Ancient Picture of HIM
(23/07/2006)

There’s a picture of him scratched on her mind,
The ink is dark and bold are the lines,
Thin sharp jaw and dark lanky frame,
Eyes that twinkle putting the stars to shame.

She finally knows that He really does exist,
But why is he so distant and so far out of reach.
Why is he this silent, doesn’t he ever speak !
She can’t bear the stillness, her patience’ at it’s peak.

She gets to know him a little more each day,
Each little detail amazes her beyond mere words could say,
Whilst her days are filled with thoughts of him,
Little does he know that she even exists !

What if she loses him? What will become?
Will those tears start running, will that body go numb,
Two is company three is a crowd,
How can she lose something she never has found?

(Gobblezygook)

Explosion of a Bleeding Soul

Explosion of a Bleeding Soul
(10/04/2006)

It’s been sometime since we spoke…
It’s been awhile since we, together felt the rain,
Do you even miss me?
Tell me…do you? Do you ever, see my face in your dreams,
Do you ever? feel me when it gets lonely over there……
Have you ever seen through me? Have you…..
It feels like you never….

My head spins, whenever I hear you voice, It spins…
My world keeps crumbling down…
Every time you make your way back to me, So don’t…
I keep, living and dying and living and dying and dying ,
Dying and dying… over and over…again….over and over….
Back on my feet and there I crumble….again….

Do you see what you’re doing? Do you even realize?
It’s a strain to stay alive…..sane…alive… breathing…
Blood ain’t always warm…these veins are running dry…..
Ever heard me cry? Seen those tears stain my eyes?
Loved me, like I did…
Love you…Have you ever?

I’ve made mistakes, but I’ve apologized,
Never hidden my face, behind dark blinds,
Walk away, I have nothing to do with you,
A coward, I’d rather not know,
Love me not……..
Walk away
Your lil girl, is not me, is not here…
Tell me…what’s going on?
Tell me….Who are you?
What are you?
Reveal…..get away…..
Before they consume your soul..
Walk away…
Don’t look this way……
Walk away…..
It hurts……..
Take this pain with you……….

(Gobblezygook)

My Reason

My Reason (Based on Psalms 40)
(22/02/2006)

I remember my yesterday,
Paralyzed in darkness I lay,
Before you came to me,
And whispered that you loved me.

You’ve healed me completely,
And washed away the impurity,
I feel like a newborn baby,
Free of the pain of yesterday..

Your love has set me free,
Set me free to dance for thee.
My heart is filled with joy,
I’m your humble warrior, Ahoy!
Someday soon the world will see,
How graciously I can dance for thee.

Feelings of obscurity is still raw,
Like a shadow, they wait to gnaw,
I’m tired of dancing on the wild side,
In your loving arms let me reside.

Work in me day and night, sweet Universe,
Don’t leave my sight, not now, not ever
You! And only you, is the reason for living,
Be my reason, my strength & my energy till the end of time.

(Gobblezygook)

Him

Him
(09/11/05)

Can a man as good as he,
Be ruled by evil lust?
Can a man as just as he,
Have a core so not like his crust?

He’s kind, gentle, strong & sheen,
He so looked like the man of my dreams,
Alas his head was ruled by lust,
I gotta break free, I can’t but I must.

His smile haunts me sometimes at night,
His gentle ways still hold me tight,
But what good a man can he be,
If lust a goal maketh he?

How come a man is what I want?
But ain’t nothing I need?
How come a man so full of daunt,
Helped me find my soul its feed.

How come a heart that seems to care?
Did rip a soul to its bare?
Heavenly father, plead thee I, to seize away this snare,
Coz the last I desire is his kernel to bear.

(Gobblezygook)

My Everything- My All

My Everything- My All
(17/03/2005)

The Man of my dreams, my Prince of Peace.
My Arabian Knight, my only release,
The key to my soul, my life, my all,
Don’t walk away, Please ask thy feet to stall.

I promise to never treat u wrong,
Tell me “Sweet Pirate”, you’ll be my song,
My heart bled for you..but too late..you were gone,
Come back baby, please come back HOME.

Stay here with me, is all I can ask,
I got nothing more to offer you than my heart,
Like a thief in the night u stole my sleep,
Like a pride less hound, I’ll beg you cheap.

It hurts to know that I hurt you so,
Every time I hurt you, It hurt me more,
This poem is silly and simple in your eyes,
But, pure and true and not a disguise.

I don’t know why I pushed you away,
I can’t go on without you,
Please come back to stay,
I will love you forever come what may.

Let me rest in your arms again,
Get lost in those eyes again,
Kiss thy sweet lips again,
Let me be yours again.

(Gobblezygook)

The Typical Scorpio B***h

The Typical Scorpio B***h (Trust me. I’m damn proud of it) !!!
(15/10/2004)

Occult, Magic & Satanism rule my world,
Love, Passion. Intensity around me twirls,
Painful piercing, chunky metal but never pearls,
I am just your average Scorpio Girl.

I make, I break, I break what I make,
Destructive, Vengeful, Ruthless road of life I take,
A Conner by profession to destroy the fake,
Its all or nothing in-betweens I hate.

I’ve fallen twice in love with the same man,
Another Scorpio more elevated than I am,
Contentment and peace are something I never had,
I represent Anti-Christ, I’m a member of his clan.

My mind running on the future whilst my soul in the past,
On the impassionate a Blood Red spell I will cast,
I dare you to love me; I bet it won’t last,
Oh poor you, your heart will end up in a cast.

Keep your word or you’ll be made my prey,
I destroy my prey a little each day,
Torture, torture, until you lifelessly lay-
down on my turf and surrender to what I say.

It’s my way or the highway or a storm is drawing nigh,
I lie low one minute and the next I touch the sky,
When I say stay away don’t you keep passing me by,
Or I’ll scratch your heart and split your soul-
and make you wanna die.

Love me tender; love me true, I’ll for ever stay by your side,
I’ll be your shining star, your guiding light, even whilst the tides are high,
I will not let you down and run around for any other guy,
Until you decide to sneak around and keep me running blind.

Learn your lessons on “How to love a Scorpio”
before you dream of me at night,
Or don’t even bother, I wouldn’t consider,
I shall bid farewell to your sorry pathetic site.

(Gobblezygook)

Drowning

Drowning
(23/08/2004)

The eerie moon is shining in the dark grey sky,
Kiss me slow, coz we are alone tonight,
Show me your universe, your hidden smile,
Make love to me right here, under the moonlight.

The world seems peaceful, with you by my side,
My mind is at rest, when under your wings I hide,
I want the world to see you in my eyes,
Search me, I ain’t wearing a disguise.

There’s jealousy written all over nature’s face,
Whilst I’m locked up in your tender gaze,
The dawn is breaking, the nights subtly erased,
To the wicked world we now must make our way.

Crazy, Crazy our lives have become,
Drifting apart has already begun,
Forget about what’s been said and done,
Let’s shake off these calluses & move on;
before the last chance is gone,

(Gobblezygook)

Hangman

Hangman !!! (A result of a suicide attempt)
(22/06/2004)

The noose, the noose, the heavy noose,
I’ve made my decisions, foot loose,
Adrenaline rushing and gushing trough my veins,
You have no excuse, this is what you paved.

I was never good enough for you, I never will be,
Your standards are too high, don’t you see,
I‘ve tried to be perfect, I‘ve sacrificed my peace of mind,
At least now, stop nudging me and stabbing me from behind.

Let me grow up, let me go, let me live,
I need to catch up on my childhood you have ruined.
I can’t even pick up the pieces; they are too shattered and torn,
I wish the angel of death upon me, before the break of dawn.

A love hidden deep within and not shown is of no use to me,
Please don’t take all your frustrations on me,
You’ve conquered life, but it’s drenched in strife,
Stop stabbing me, it hurts too much, too sharp is that knife.

Tell me what you want of me?
Are you trying to see the perfect you through me?
I cannot give back the life you’ve lost,
Don’t clone me, what’s lost is lost.

Don’t keep tripping me; I might not be that strong,
It’s been a struggle, to crawl, to walk,
But I’ll straighten up before long,
Tell me, am I a load, a burden to keep?
Let me know, I’ll walk away forever,
So you can peacefully sleep.

Crushed by evil,
Living on love,
Thoughts of dying,
Yet struggling to survive somehow.

(Gobblezygook)

Free To Go

Free To Go
(18/06/2004)

Walk away, you are free to go,
Your lame excuses are such a bore,
Just leave my heart at the door,
You won’t be needing it any more.

It ain’t that hard to let you go,
I’ll just hide my face and let the tears flow,
Over me you chose a whore,
Never knew you could stoop so low.

Don’t wanna see that puny face,
You in my life? Not a trace,
I’m over, I’m over, I’m over the craze,
Of loving you, it was just a phase.

Can she love you like I did?
Will she be there through thin and thick?
Can she see through you, like me?
Why did you choose her over me?

Can you answer all my questions?
No, they’ll linger in my head,
Tell me, have you got any suggestions?
Coz it feels like I wanna be dead.

I never thought that this would end,
Never knew you could be this dense.
Outa the lot I thought you were the best,
Should have known all men are jests.

(Gobblezygook)

He Loves Me He Loves Me Not

He Loves Me He Loves Me Not
(06/06/2004)

He who loves me makes me cry,
Why he does that, I don’t know why?
I love him, love him, more than my life,
Though all he does is fill me with strife.

The distance between us is so well kept.
My life is filled with his silent zest,
All he does is push and shove me away,
I just keep wishing for that brighter day.

I wanna pack my soul and run for shelter,
My overworked brain is running helter skelter,
Does he want me to go? Does he want me to stay?
I need to know, please tell me I pray.

Mixed signals I can’t comprehend,
The game he plays just has no end,
I’m only human, doesn’t he realize?
I’m tired of being penalized.

My life, my religion, my strength, my light,
The only star I wanna see at night,
But there is a limit a woman can take,
I’m helpless, all I can do is wait.

(Gobblezygook)

Closure

Closure
(22/03/2004)

I’ve closed the doors,
I’ve shut the gates,
I’ve left my past behind,
I’ve walked far away.

I’ll never turn back,
I’ll never regret,
I’ll never turn around,
And find my way back,

I’ll bravely look ahead of me,
It’s closure, closure, closure indeed,
The thoughts of revenge, which were ruling my head,
They’ve drowned away and are almost dead.

A new day, a new beginning,
A bright smile on my face a beaming,
My mind at peace, my heart at ease,
This is paradise, the world I seek.

I’ve forgiven my self for the wrong I did,
I bless those who dug my grave.
To my past, a humble farewell I bid,
I’ve got a future ahead of me to pave.

Don’t try to knock me down again,
You’ll only cripple yourself in pain,
My iron gates are too strong, too heavy,
So don’t waste your strength in vain.

Adios to my old life, adios to all my pain,
Closure, closure, is the name of the game.
Don’t give up, play it bold and strong,
One day you’ll realize that you’ve finally won.

(Gobblezygook)

Insanity

Insanity
(18/03/2004)

I loved you then, I love you still,
I never told you & I never will,
Lost forever I will be,
In my own little world, wild and free.

In my eyes, men are toys,
But you were never one of em boys,
I feared your eyes, your smile, your touch,
Your smile so rare, that meant so much.

At the height of insanity I ran away,
Coz it hurt to see you drift away,
In a loveless cycle I got trapped,
With my own insanity I got stabbed.

I hate you so for ripping my soul,
I hate you more for letting me go,
Never will I forgive your actions,
Do something to stop this crazy attraction.

Expensive fantasies, Congo Safaris, I ask for none,
Just your intense heart bleeding on my palm,
Your mind, making me surrender.
Exciting me & showing me wonders.

I am the vicious princess Scorpio,
That’s all I am to you.
Take a second to see through me,
Like I see through you.
And capture the radiance of what I feel for you.

Insanity rises when I hear your voice.
I wish you were invisible in my sight,
I wish I could seduce you in to my life,
But I’ve lost my powers over you,
Please HELP, save this dying soul.

(Gobblezygook)

Falling

Falling
(04/11/2003)

I’m falling, falling, falling too deep.
Slipping and sliding coz the cliff is too steep.
What’s at the bottom, I so want to know,
The wounds are now scars, but I’m still sacred to go.

He’s tripping, he’s tripping, he’s tripping me so,
I’m falling and rising afraid to fall and let go,
The suspense brewing mixed with hurt, guilt and pride.
The language of passion is rusty in my mind,

The stupid smile I wear on my face,
I hope and pray, that no-body would trace,
Nothing is true, nothing is real, it’s all a phase,
When this phase is over I’ll be ready to face another new phase,
and a brand new day, all over again.

(Gobblezygook)

Peace of Mind (An angry conversation with the higher power I believe in)

Peace of Mind (An angry conversation with the higher power I believe in)
(06/10/2003)

Make me believe in you,
Show me something real,
If you say u’r watching over me,
Why do I go through so much trial?

I’ve never asked u anything more,
Than a peace of mind, I’ve always yearned for.
Give it to me now, Give it to me soon,
I can’t go on, my minds been messed up for too long.

Get the hell outa here if you can’t be there,
I don’t need no higher power to tell me I’m wrong.
I can’t take it no more, I need a reason to live for,
Sicka livin for you, with you I’m done.

I’m sorry I’m screaming,
But I’m losing my head,
Make me stop dreaming,
Why d'you go make me feel so dead.

I can’t go livin like this,
Always watching behind my back,
I wear a false smile on my lips,
But on my head’s a heavy sak,

Get da hell outa ur hiding place,
Help me keep that smile on ma face,
Damn the one who created me,
Can’t u see what u’ve turned me outa be,

I’ll crack the codes, I’ll break the laws,
Try stopping me using all your claws,
U’ve had a hold of me for too long,
It’s time for ya to let me go.

Show me something, or I’m gone for good,
I wouldn’t stay even if I could,
I need my life straight and I need it now,
Or I’ll be gone every soon,
Don’t curse me for letting ya down.

(Gobblezygook)

The Angel In Him

The Angel In Him
(03/10/2003) – (Dedicated to someone very special) !!!


That Secret smile,
Those twinkling eyes,
That he tries to hide,
He thinks he’s rough,
He thinks he’s tough,
But nothing can hide the angel in him.

That heart of gold,
That soul so bold,
That he tries to hide,
He calls him self the cast away,
And he can drive my mind astray,
I was blessed, very blessed,
To finally see the angel in him.

To feel what I thought I could never feel,
I felt for this Angel I’ve not clearly seen,
It feels so right but it is so wrong,
But, I’m glad I saw the angel in him.

(Gobblezygook)

Destruction

Destruction !!!
(24/09/2003)

Thinking, thinking,
You’re thinking of me,
Beating, beating,
Your heart is beating for me.

Confused, confused,
Your mind is confused,
Abused, abused,
Your body is abused.

Horny, horny,
I’m making you feel,
Yearning, yearning,
Your body may feel.

Robbed, robbed,
From your peace of mind,
Tension, tension,
Making you wild.

Loosing, loosing,
You’re loosing your mind,
Craving, craving,
But, your taste buds have died.

Sweat, sweat,
Your body is wet,
Slowly, steadily,
I’ve taken over your head.

(Gobblezygook)

Don't Fence Me

Don't Fence Me
(21/09/2003)


Don’t fence me,
Love me and let me go,
Don’t bar me,
Love me and let me soar.

Hug me,
But don’t hold me too tight,
Kiss me,
Please don’t kiss me good night.

Stand the tests I put you through,
They maybe harsh, but you’ll get through,
I love you now, I hate you next,
You may never know what I am, at my best.

You are a loser,
That’s what I adore,
You are a loser,
But that just makes me want you more.

You still know not what I want?
I ain’t asking for much,
Not figured out what I need?
I ain’t telling you much?

Make me beg, make me weak,
Freak me, I want you bleak,
Be merciless, I’ll tell you why,
That’s the only way you can make me high.

I’ll call it off once; I’ll call it off twice,
You beg me once, you beg me twice,
I’ll call it off the third time too,
Hold on…don’t give up….this may be the last time.

Too late, you’ve decided to let go,
Now, you may never know,
You may never know ….
I may be an angel in disguise.

I get what I want; I get what I need,
That’s my attitude, I’m the killer bee.
If you think you’ve not got that,
I’m sorry you’re not worth all that…

In this life we live very short,
Promises about tomorrow, I may abort.
Here and now, take it or leave it,
I may not wait for you, to think about it.
You can’t fence me, you never will,
I’m the wicked sea and not the waters still.

(Gobblezygook)

The Silent Killer

The Silent Killer
(13/10/2003)

The taste of the salty breeze swiping by,
The darkness creeping around me, the night is drawing nigh,
My feet dig deep in to the sand with every step I take,
My heart is pounding hard against my ribs, with every minute I wait.

The tri-couloured ocean, green, blue and brown,
The bloodcurdling feeling as the sun goes down,
I hate the dark, I hate the night,
I hate the loneliness, I feel inside.

My aimless walk, my empty gaze,
None would see, none would see.
My shrinking bones, my pale dark skin,
Goes un-noticed, none had seen.

It’s eating me raw, It’s sucking me whole,
I can feel myself drift, to a deep black hole,
It’s holding my hand, and taking me slow,
To the end of my voyage, six feet low.

I can’t watch my own slow and painful death,
I don’t want to feel my very last breath,
Guess it’s time to take the fate in to my hands,
Its time to poke hot drugs deep in to my glands.

I can feel them slide down my fragile throat, one by one.
My feelings which were numb for so long feels even numb,
The taste of blood stinging in my mouth every time I puke,
I‘d not taste them any more when this sickening life I rebuke.
Don’t try to comprehend me any more, it ain’t worth your time,
I’ve just briefed my pain, please understand, this ain’t a crime.

(Gobblezygook)

Fatal Attraction

Fatal Attraction
(11/09/2003)

It was fatal attraction,
There was a connection,
But, I lied to myself,
Rejected and put your love on the shelf.

You were not good enough for me,
My mind kept saying,
In fear of what the world might say,
I lied to my heart and now I suffer in pain.

I'm phasing up and down my room,
With a painful void, stabbing my dome,
Your loving eyes I suddenly remember,
Wish I could call you and tell you,
How much I love you tender.

I've never felt this way before,
This feeling had never been this strong afore,
I love the way you make me smile,
It's strange how you feel like a part of my life.

I can take it no more,
This feeling I have within,
is taking my life's very core,
Tell me you love me once more,
And I promise I will never say no.

I'm crossing my fingers like it's a disease,
I'm down on my knees and begging God please,
I'm ready to surrender, ready to surrender,
No more shall I use my fender.

Hear my silent stare, read my mind,
I'm sorry that I was so blind,
The one thing that I wanted most,
Was the one thing that my sight lost,
Now I'm standing right before your face,
Take me in your arms before I slip away.

(Gobblezygook)

The 19’s Syndrome

The 19’s Syndrome

Last few months of my teenage years,
How have I spent it? what have I done?
Was it boring or was it fun?
The blood that pumped in me at 13,
reduced it's pressure when I realized that,
being a teenager really does suck.

Adventures, conventions and trying out stuff,
Love, Lust, Sex, Vodka and Puff,
Sneaking round places to do what the world shouldn’t see
Brought out the woman and the heroine,
In the lil girl people knew and wanted me to be.

Bulimia and Anorexia, went through that,
Making up, breaking up, living up, done that.
The bad, the good, the ugly and the shameful, faced em.
There’s nothing more I can expect, coz there’s nothing more left.

The punks, the drunks the dudes and the hunks,
I was daring enough to mess around without arousing their funk,
Never chilling, ever fizzing, kicking back and having fun,
There were a few times I’ve sworn "SON OF A GUN"

7 darn years of ups and downs, following my neck,
Been to the depths of hell and back,
But, I've survived it all and that’s a fact,
I've been there, done that, in the phase,
When lil girls are known to be as wild as cats.

The sluts, the nerds and the women of the wild,
One time or another have been my guide,
I take the opportunity to thank em all,
For helping me to stand up straight and tall.

I’ve done what I want to do and been what I want to be,
Heard what I shouldn’t hear and seen what I shouldn’t see,
Done what I shouldn’t do and spoken what I shouldn’t speak,
Guess I’m ready to say good bye, to the sweet sorrows of my teenage life,
Without regret, I’d gladly accept the 20 something coming by.

(Gobblezygook)