Falling

Falling
(04/11/2003)

I’m falling, falling, falling too deep.
Slipping and sliding coz the cliff is too steep.
What’s at the bottom, I so want to know,
The wounds are now scars, but I’m still sacred to go.

He’s tripping, he’s tripping, he’s tripping me so,
I’m falling and rising afraid to fall and let go,
The suspense brewing mixed with hurt, guilt and pride.
The language of passion is rusty in my mind,

The stupid smile I wear on my face,
I hope and pray, that no-body would trace,
Nothing is true, nothing is real, it’s all a phase,
When this phase is over I’ll be ready to face another new phase,
and a brand new day, all over again.

(Gobblezygook)

Peace of Mind (An angry conversation with the higher power I believe in)

Peace of Mind (An angry conversation with the higher power I believe in)
(06/10/2003)

Make me believe in you,
Show me something real,
If you say u’r watching over me,
Why do I go through so much trial?

I’ve never asked u anything more,
Than a peace of mind, I’ve always yearned for.
Give it to me now, Give it to me soon,
I can’t go on, my minds been messed up for too long.

Get the hell outa here if you can’t be there,
I don’t need no higher power to tell me I’m wrong.
I can’t take it no more, I need a reason to live for,
Sicka livin for you, with you I’m done.

I’m sorry I’m screaming,
But I’m losing my head,
Make me stop dreaming,
Why d'you go make me feel so dead.

I can’t go livin like this,
Always watching behind my back,
I wear a false smile on my lips,
But on my head’s a heavy sak,

Get da hell outa ur hiding place,
Help me keep that smile on ma face,
Damn the one who created me,
Can’t u see what u’ve turned me outa be,

I’ll crack the codes, I’ll break the laws,
Try stopping me using all your claws,
U’ve had a hold of me for too long,
It’s time for ya to let me go.

Show me something, or I’m gone for good,
I wouldn’t stay even if I could,
I need my life straight and I need it now,
Or I’ll be gone every soon,
Don’t curse me for letting ya down.

(Gobblezygook)

The Angel In Him

The Angel In Him
(03/10/2003) – (Dedicated to someone very special) !!!


That Secret smile,
Those twinkling eyes,
That he tries to hide,
He thinks he’s rough,
He thinks he’s tough,
But nothing can hide the angel in him.

That heart of gold,
That soul so bold,
That he tries to hide,
He calls him self the cast away,
And he can drive my mind astray,
I was blessed, very blessed,
To finally see the angel in him.

To feel what I thought I could never feel,
I felt for this Angel I’ve not clearly seen,
It feels so right but it is so wrong,
But, I’m glad I saw the angel in him.

(Gobblezygook)

Destruction

Destruction !!!
(24/09/2003)

Thinking, thinking,
You’re thinking of me,
Beating, beating,
Your heart is beating for me.

Confused, confused,
Your mind is confused,
Abused, abused,
Your body is abused.

Horny, horny,
I’m making you feel,
Yearning, yearning,
Your body may feel.

Robbed, robbed,
From your peace of mind,
Tension, tension,
Making you wild.

Loosing, loosing,
You’re loosing your mind,
Craving, craving,
But, your taste buds have died.

Sweat, sweat,
Your body is wet,
Slowly, steadily,
I’ve taken over your head.

(Gobblezygook)

Don't Fence Me

Don't Fence Me
(21/09/2003)


Don’t fence me,
Love me and let me go,
Don’t bar me,
Love me and let me soar.

Hug me,
But don’t hold me too tight,
Kiss me,
Please don’t kiss me good night.

Stand the tests I put you through,
They maybe harsh, but you’ll get through,
I love you now, I hate you next,
You may never know what I am, at my best.

You are a loser,
That’s what I adore,
You are a loser,
But that just makes me want you more.

You still know not what I want?
I ain’t asking for much,
Not figured out what I need?
I ain’t telling you much?

Make me beg, make me weak,
Freak me, I want you bleak,
Be merciless, I’ll tell you why,
That’s the only way you can make me high.

I’ll call it off once; I’ll call it off twice,
You beg me once, you beg me twice,
I’ll call it off the third time too,
Hold on…don’t give up….this may be the last time.

Too late, you’ve decided to let go,
Now, you may never know,
You may never know ….
I may be an angel in disguise.

I get what I want; I get what I need,
That’s my attitude, I’m the killer bee.
If you think you’ve not got that,
I’m sorry you’re not worth all that…

In this life we live very short,
Promises about tomorrow, I may abort.
Here and now, take it or leave it,
I may not wait for you, to think about it.
You can’t fence me, you never will,
I’m the wicked sea and not the waters still.

(Gobblezygook)

The Silent Killer

The Silent Killer
(13/10/2003)

The taste of the salty breeze swiping by,
The darkness creeping around me, the night is drawing nigh,
My feet dig deep in to the sand with every step I take,
My heart is pounding hard against my ribs, with every minute I wait.

The tri-couloured ocean, green, blue and brown,
The bloodcurdling feeling as the sun goes down,
I hate the dark, I hate the night,
I hate the loneliness, I feel inside.

My aimless walk, my empty gaze,
None would see, none would see.
My shrinking bones, my pale dark skin,
Goes un-noticed, none had seen.

It’s eating me raw, It’s sucking me whole,
I can feel myself drift, to a deep black hole,
It’s holding my hand, and taking me slow,
To the end of my voyage, six feet low.

I can’t watch my own slow and painful death,
I don’t want to feel my very last breath,
Guess it’s time to take the fate in to my hands,
Its time to poke hot drugs deep in to my glands.

I can feel them slide down my fragile throat, one by one.
My feelings which were numb for so long feels even numb,
The taste of blood stinging in my mouth every time I puke,
I‘d not taste them any more when this sickening life I rebuke.
Don’t try to comprehend me any more, it ain’t worth your time,
I’ve just briefed my pain, please understand, this ain’t a crime.

(Gobblezygook)

Fatal Attraction

Fatal Attraction
(11/09/2003)

It was fatal attraction,
There was a connection,
But, I lied to myself,
Rejected and put your love on the shelf.

You were not good enough for me,
My mind kept saying,
In fear of what the world might say,
I lied to my heart and now I suffer in pain.

I'm phasing up and down my room,
With a painful void, stabbing my dome,
Your loving eyes I suddenly remember,
Wish I could call you and tell you,
How much I love you tender.

I've never felt this way before,
This feeling had never been this strong afore,
I love the way you make me smile,
It's strange how you feel like a part of my life.

I can take it no more,
This feeling I have within,
is taking my life's very core,
Tell me you love me once more,
And I promise I will never say no.

I'm crossing my fingers like it's a disease,
I'm down on my knees and begging God please,
I'm ready to surrender, ready to surrender,
No more shall I use my fender.

Hear my silent stare, read my mind,
I'm sorry that I was so blind,
The one thing that I wanted most,
Was the one thing that my sight lost,
Now I'm standing right before your face,
Take me in your arms before I slip away.

(Gobblezygook)

The 19’s Syndrome

The 19’s Syndrome

Last few months of my teenage years,
How have I spent it? what have I done?
Was it boring or was it fun?
The blood that pumped in me at 13,
reduced it's pressure when I realized that,
being a teenager really does suck.

Adventures, conventions and trying out stuff,
Love, Lust, Sex, Vodka and Puff,
Sneaking round places to do what the world shouldn’t see
Brought out the woman and the heroine,
In the lil girl people knew and wanted me to be.

Bulimia and Anorexia, went through that,
Making up, breaking up, living up, done that.
The bad, the good, the ugly and the shameful, faced em.
There’s nothing more I can expect, coz there’s nothing more left.

The punks, the drunks the dudes and the hunks,
I was daring enough to mess around without arousing their funk,
Never chilling, ever fizzing, kicking back and having fun,
There were a few times I’ve sworn "SON OF A GUN"

7 darn years of ups and downs, following my neck,
Been to the depths of hell and back,
But, I've survived it all and that’s a fact,
I've been there, done that, in the phase,
When lil girls are known to be as wild as cats.

The sluts, the nerds and the women of the wild,
One time or another have been my guide,
I take the opportunity to thank em all,
For helping me to stand up straight and tall.

I’ve done what I want to do and been what I want to be,
Heard what I shouldn’t hear and seen what I shouldn’t see,
Done what I shouldn’t do and spoken what I shouldn’t speak,
Guess I’m ready to say good bye, to the sweet sorrows of my teenage life,
Without regret, I’d gladly accept the 20 something coming by.

(Gobblezygook)

The Last Puff

The Last Puff
(25/08/2003)

Stop me now or stop me never,
Love me now or love me never
I hate the world I see,
Show me love and set me free
I'm bound, I'm chanined, set me free,
I got paradise in my hands,
I'l drown in it and sink to the promised land,
I'm tired of fighting,
I'm tired of pain,
I'm letting go, I'm letting go,
I can take it no more.
Don't offer you hand now,
You had your chances to show me how,
much I'm worth and how much you cared,
It's too late now just let me leave.
In my own paradise, just let me be.
You never listened,
You never cared,
Now you question, how could I dare,
To take my life in to my hands,
It's not my fault,
This puff's a snare.
I'm sorry Love, Ma and Pa,
I gotta go now,
I can hang in no more,
The candle in front of me is flickering,
And my fragile bones are aching, aching,
Ahhh....the feeling......
It's taking me high for the very last time,
Higher and higher,
Feels like I'm flying,
Adios, my little hiding place,
You may never see me again,
Hey Spikes, thank you for the puff,
I don't hate you for getting me hooked on this stuff,
I fill my lungs with another and another,
I could feel myself go down the gutter,
My vision is blurred so I close my eyes,
My eyelids close for the very last time,
When tomorrow comes, don't cry for me,
I value your tears no more,
Just pray for my soul to rest in heaven,
Rest in peace for ever more.

(Gobblezygook)

Fire, Wind & Water

Fire, Wind & Water
(05/07/2003)

See me as a blazing fire,
Light me up and watch me blaze,
Blaze with me,
Lets play with the flames,
I swear I won’t let u burn away,
Just in case, you begin to burn,

See me as the pouring rain,
To cool you from the burning flames,
I’ll sprinkle water, I’ll stop the flames,
I might make you wet,
But, not drenched,
Just in case, if you’re soaking wet,

Then see me as the blowing wind,
I’ll blow over you and make you dry,
I’ll tickle your skin and calm you mind,
Don’t fret, Don’t leave,
Hush…..Don’t speak,
I didn’t mean to make you freak,
It’s just my emotions running wild,
It’s just a dose of Fire Wind and Water, very mild,
Hush…… Don’t speak, don’t ever speak..

(Gobblezygook)

Every Time You Pass Me By

Every Time You Pass Me By
(25/06/2003)

I see those eyes,
I see that smile,
But, I pretend not to notice you,
Each time you pass me by.

You looking at me,
I can see….
But, I’m looking down,
Coz I can’t bear to see…
Those fiery, piercing eyes,
Looking through me.

You are only human,
Why am I fretting?
I question myself,
But, I can’t figure out,
Is it love at first sight?
Or physical attraction,
I can’t decide.

My mind’s messed up,
And my heart just stops,
How long can I bear?
This pain that resides….
Deep within my heart,
Penetrating my soul and,
Tearing my veins…..

Every time you pass me by..

(Gobblezygook)