Hangman

Hangman !!! (A result of a suicide attempt)
(22/06/2004)

The noose, the noose, the heavy noose,
I’ve made my decisions, foot loose,
Adrenaline rushing and gushing trough my veins,
You have no excuse, this is what you paved.

I was never good enough for you, I never will be,
Your standards are too high, don’t you see,
I‘ve tried to be perfect, I‘ve sacrificed my peace of mind,
At least now, stop nudging me and stabbing me from behind.

Let me grow up, let me go, let me live,
I need to catch up on my childhood you have ruined.
I can’t even pick up the pieces; they are too shattered and torn,
I wish the angel of death upon me, before the break of dawn.

A love hidden deep within and not shown is of no use to me,
Please don’t take all your frustrations on me,
You’ve conquered life, but it’s drenched in strife,
Stop stabbing me, it hurts too much, too sharp is that knife.

Tell me what you want of me?
Are you trying to see the perfect you through me?
I cannot give back the life you’ve lost,
Don’t clone me, what’s lost is lost.

Don’t keep tripping me; I might not be that strong,
It’s been a struggle, to crawl, to walk,
But I’ll straighten up before long,
Tell me, am I a load, a burden to keep?
Let me know, I’ll walk away forever,
So you can peacefully sleep.

Crushed by evil,
Living on love,
Thoughts of dying,
Yet struggling to survive somehow.

(Gobblezygook)

Free To Go

Free To Go
(18/06/2004)

Walk away, you are free to go,
Your lame excuses are such a bore,
Just leave my heart at the door,
You won’t be needing it any more.

It ain’t that hard to let you go,
I’ll just hide my face and let the tears flow,
Over me you chose a whore,
Never knew you could stoop so low.

Don’t wanna see that puny face,
You in my life? Not a trace,
I’m over, I’m over, I’m over the craze,
Of loving you, it was just a phase.

Can she love you like I did?
Will she be there through thin and thick?
Can she see through you, like me?
Why did you choose her over me?

Can you answer all my questions?
No, they’ll linger in my head,
Tell me, have you got any suggestions?
Coz it feels like I wanna be dead.

I never thought that this would end,
Never knew you could be this dense.
Outa the lot I thought you were the best,
Should have known all men are jests.

(Gobblezygook)

He Loves Me He Loves Me Not

He Loves Me He Loves Me Not
(06/06/2004)

He who loves me makes me cry,
Why he does that, I don’t know why?
I love him, love him, more than my life,
Though all he does is fill me with strife.

The distance between us is so well kept.
My life is filled with his silent zest,
All he does is push and shove me away,
I just keep wishing for that brighter day.

I wanna pack my soul and run for shelter,
My overworked brain is running helter skelter,
Does he want me to go? Does he want me to stay?
I need to know, please tell me I pray.

Mixed signals I can’t comprehend,
The game he plays just has no end,
I’m only human, doesn’t he realize?
I’m tired of being penalized.

My life, my religion, my strength, my light,
The only star I wanna see at night,
But there is a limit a woman can take,
I’m helpless, all I can do is wait.

(Gobblezygook)